Munch Musings from E. 53rd and Hamm Avenue

It was the Summer of ’79…

It has taken me a few days to reminisce about the life of a dear friend, brother, ardent baseball fan, confidant, mentor, my first boss in radio and the kind of human being that makes this planet a better place for all of us. I am talking about a gent by the name of Tom Teuber, or as anyone who was on one of his teams knows him as TWT. Yes, he signed memos that way. Tom was called Home last Thursday and the word hit me like a Muhammad Ali right cross. Tom also had an alter ego as sports guy “Biff Burns” and would start his reports “Hello again sports fans, it’s Biff Burns speaking about sports.” When I would call him, he would answer the phone with that greeting and jokingly I would say “that’s all I needed, gotta go” and we both would laugh. What is truly karmic is that a day before he passed away, I called to hear his voice and check on him, not knowing his days here were numbered and he was in hospice care. When I got the message, it hit me even harder. Tom was a special man. Caring and he lived the words of one of Cleveland’s favorite sons Michael Stanley: “Take care of yourself and each other and remember, now more than ever. It’s your world…pay attention.

 

It was the dynamic Summer of ’79 when I first met Tom. After graduating OSU and attempting to work on my Masters (Criminology/Sociology) I felt Law School at Capital University would be the vehicle to take me where I needed to go. I also needed to put myself through school and being chief cook and bottle washer at Bernie’s Bagels and Deli located at 67 East Gay Street was the way to go.

I actually was one of the managers of the store which meant I made sandwiches, tended bar, manned the cash register and locked up (or opened up) depending on the day of the week. Tom Teuber and GM Perry Frey along with Sales GM Dave Crowl (soon to be GM) had started a new radio station a few years earlier in the Buckeye Building across the street from Bernie’s. Tom was called in to launch Q-FM-96 (WLVQ) and it still is rockin’ Columbus to this day. The guys would come in after work, get a corned beef sandwich and an ice-cold draught beer and talk some business. Tom eventually changed to a fish sandwich but was not fond of our tartar sauce, so I whipped him up a special sauce with horseradish. He talked about it all these years later when we had a chance to chat. Now what do guys and people in general talk about a lot over a cold one? SPORTS!!

Out of the clear blue one evening Tom said to me “dang you know so much about sports, not just names and what happened and is happening but x’s and o’s too.” I thanked him and said something to the effect of “thanks for the praise but just leave a tip!”  Oh, my little did I know what was up his sleeve. Out of the blue one day he asked me about my class schedule at Capital. Some mornings (9a was first class) and one day a week I had a lecture 6p-9p. He then hit me with this thought…”I need a sports guy for the morning show.” The show was JOHN and FRAN (John Fisher and Fran Kovac) with Daddy Wags waiting in the wings. Tom’s vision (and when it came to radio, he had many and they were all very cool, productive, and successful) was he needed a sports guy in Columbus with Buckeyes, Buckeyes and more Buckeyes plus to talk about Cleveland and Cinci sports and national hot topics. His plan was that he did not want a stuffed shirt, buttoned up sports gut with a pole up his back side for a Rock Station and a fun, yes PARTY ON, morning show. He asked if I could do two sports hits a morning at 7:05a and 8:05a. Stopping down on my way to class was the best situation, but a phone call would work too at times. He also noted that I talked sports as if I was tending bar or sitting next to some buds at a bar!  DONE!

Here was the genius of Tom Teuber…for my first “hit” he told me John Fisher would call me and do a practice report. The date was August 15, 1978. It just so happened I had no class that day so what did that mean the night before? Nope, not extra time logged in at the Law School Library! Yes it meant go out and get hammered. When the phone rang it was all I could do to answer it let alone speak in a civilized tongue and I knew full well that it was a practice run. After an introduction from the one and only “FISHMAN” I talked Indians and Reds plus noted the strength of the Buckeyes offensive line. Then he hit me with a blockbuster…”I hear you know your stuff and will find out in 6 weeks but who goes to the World Series and who wins.”

Now in a coaching session Tom had taught me to have conviction and be firm even though sports were meant to be the “toy department of life.”  I promptly noted the Orioles vs Pirates, and the Buccaneers “Family” would win it all. Yup it happened. Tom was also a genius to the point that in addition to being very nervous I was “out of sorts.” Well after I finished my phone started going bonkers with buds saying “DUDE, you just killed it on Q-FM-96!” Well in between calls from the Bros my new boss Tom Teuber called saying” great job, exactly what I wanted and so you know you were live on air. I did not want you to know as I was certain you would be tense.” BOOM. This gent had enough faith in me to roll with a two fingered Slovak – Slovenian kid from Slavic Village, Lee Harvard, and Solon HS. Tom was so proud and demanding of his handpicked team. He had some hilarious and serious exchanges with Mr. Bill (Bill Pugh) the afternoon DJ but also opened his home to all of us frequently.

Tom went to Chicago not long after I started to give birth to another new radio station. His career brought him back to Columbus with WWCD and he actually had me do sports for the morning show as I came back home to Cleveland. Tom finished up commercial radio in Madison then moved on to be a volunteer at a community radio station in Monoma, Wisconsin where he settled down. Having spent time from Milwaukee to Buffalo, Columbus. Chicago and Madison, Tom treasured that state and fondly referred to it as “CHEESETOPIA.” Tom also had life and business lessons he shared with me! He mentioned there are two rules for radio: “YOU be the fan and treat others as the stars” and “Give them something money cannot buy.” He also noted to “take a stand if you feel you are right and if you are wrong SAY SO!”

One other event I need to share about Tom. I was driving to a CAVS playoff game with my daughter Maggie and my phone rang. It was Tom. He asked what I was doing and truly enjoyed the fact that I was going to a game with my daughter. He said to me “listen to this” and I heard a banging noise. I asked what the heck was that he told me he had retired, had just cleared out his desk and that was him shutting his desk drawer for the last time!

Tom had extensive heart surgery a few years back. I called to check on him and he was excited that a few weeks after his operation he was given permission to have a slice of pizza, A SLICE and one of his favorite craft beers. When I had heart surgery a few years later he called to prep me on what to expect then checked on me frequently after. Interesting as my top bosses at the time never once checked in but Tom still cared about people that “did him good and made him look good.” 44+ years later he reminded me of that fact, and I was humbled hearing that verbiage from a Radio Programming legend.

I can go on and on with more of Tom’s wisdom, his love for the simple pleasures of life, the Braves followed by the Brewers, Bucks and {Packers and his disdain for the Yankees. He came to visit a few years back and yes; we went to a baseball game. I am thinking about the good times now as Tom was disappointed that mustard in the Hot Dog Race was not “ballpark mustard brown.” I mentioned French’s sponsors the race and they feature yellow mustard. His response, and it was the response of a winner and someone who made things happen was “then get a brown mustard.”

Dang along with many others I miss this man. Yeah, I’ll see you again and when we do, I’ll need that “BIFF BURNS greeting”. Love you Tom and yes you will always be in my heart. I know you enjoyed every sandwich. Adios Amigo, long may you run. Time for me to shed some tears over missing you.

 

Yes, it was the Summer of ’79